ROTM Chapter 5: THE DEATH SENTENCE (Part 1)

    1.5:

    I lay on my bed, on my left side. I look out into the distance, wondering when 30 is going to come home. I have no idea how I'm going to tell him...
    I really can't believe this. I really can't believe that I'm pregnant.
    I don't even know how any of this happened.

    But, more than anything, I'm trying to face reality. I'm trying to plan everything out. It hurts so bad to think about it... I have to plans things out for when I have this baby. I have to plan what happens after. I have to how I want this land to operate after I die.

    I don't even know if I'll tell anyone yet (other than 30, of course). I mean, of course there are others I can trust, but I fear that announcing it could cause that thing that attacked me to come back. I know she's still out there, and I know she's just waiting and waiting until we lower our defenses. If she finds out about this, she'll kill me and the baby. Though my death is inevitable at this point, I'd like to worry as little a possible while I'm still here. The baby, though... though I only found out today, I wouldn't want anything to happen to it. Really. I do want to tell some people, though. People I know I can trust with this secret. I'd like to tell 31, and 15 as well. I want to tell V, but I'm not sure when. I feel like she might nurses or doctors, and then they'll tell people, and it'll get out fast. 2 is the only one who knows, and I'm going to see him again tomorrow to try and figure out how all of this happened.
    I sleep the full night, much heavier than normal. I wake up in the morning, feeling refreshed and much better than usual. I get out of bed, and run my fingers through my hair. I stretch, and walk over to the mirror. I look at myself again, actually feeling recognizable, this time. I still am me, just... pregnant-er. I feel my lower abdomen and just breathe for a few moments. The door opens without warning. I turn around at the speed of light, trying to pretend that I'm not looking to see how pregnant I am.
    "Hey." V says. "Are you alright?"
    "Yeah, I'm all good." I say. "What's up?"
    "I was just checking up on how you were doing."
    "I'm feeling better." I say. "I'm going to go meet up with a doctor again today."
    "You went to the doctor?" she says, surprised. "How'd it go?"
    "It went okay. We're pinpointing what I have and how it got triggered."
    "You figured it out? What's wrong?" she seems so genuinely concerned, but I'm afraid to say it.
    "Would you mind if I kept it to myself for now? I hope you don't mind, but I just really want to figure everything out first before I mention anything."
    "Of course." she responds. "Is it serious, though?"
    "Kinda... but I'll be fine." I hope she can't tell that I'm lying. I want to tell her, but I just can't yet.
    "You'll be fine? 1.5, two days ago you threw up all over the floor and then passed out in it. You can't just 'be fine' that quickly."
    "I feel better, V. Please don't worry about it."
    "But-"
    "I have everything under control."
    "...okay. I'll take your word for it." she says. "I'm sorry, I'll back off. I'm just really worried about you."
    "Don't sweat it." I smile at her, but I feel like it's a weak one.
    "Good luck at the doctor's..." she says, leaving. "I hope you're okay. I'll talk to you later."
    "Luckily 30 might be home by then." I say, still smiling.
    "You betcha." she nods.
    I'm almost looking forward to telling him, because I know this is something he wants. I stretch one more time, and as I look in the mirror, the ittiest bump sticks out when I bend a certain way. I make a mental note not to do that around everyone, because I'm almost positive they'll notice. I leave my room, and head to go see 2.

    Once again, he's still repairing the same thing. 15 is there this time, handing him tools and looking through a stack of papers.
    I enter. 15 notices me first and greets me.
    "You're looking so much better!" she says. "I was really worried about you, and so were a lot of others."
    "Thank you... I'm a lot better." I say. I look at 2.
    "Would you give me a few minutes to speak to 1.5? Go take a break, you deserve it."
    "Alright." she says. "When do you want me to be back?"
    "How does an hour sound?"
    "Great." she says. "If you need me, you know where I'll be." she exits.
    "Dear... are you alright?" he asks.
    "Yeah, I'm okay. I feel pretty good today, but I just wanted to sort all of this out."
    "How so?" he asks.
    "We need to get everything in order. I need to know how far along I am, how big I'll get... all that stuff."
    He nods the same way he did yesterday, and has me sit on the same table. He asks me to lay down. I feel the world start spinning again. Though I've completely realized my situation, I'm still so shocked that all of this happening, and this fast, at that. I just close my eyes and breathe.
    "Let's just start by figuring out where you might be."
    He places his hand on my abdomen, feeling around where my little bump is, and referring to a book showing women along each week. He does a lot of poking with the tips of his fingers and tries to estimate the size of the bump. He looks at the book one more time.
    "I hate to ask you this... but... when was the last time... you..." he doesn't know how to ask me when the last time I had sex was.
    "June 19th." I chuckle. "You're such an old man, 2." He laughs back at me.
    "I'm trying to respect you and your privacy, 1.5."
    "I know, I'm just messing with you, 2."
    After a few more moments, he closes the book and puts a semi-serious, but encouraging look on his face.
    "So... according to my estimations, you're between three or four weeks along, maybe almost five. You'll be due in late March."
    "...wow." is all I manage to say. I close my eyes for a second, and try to stay calm.
    "You're shaking, dear."
    I sit up, and swing my legs over the edge of the table.
    "I'm scared, 2."
    "Don't be. Motherhood is a wonderful thing."
    "I'm sure it is..." I say, putting my head down. "You... you know why I couldn't do this to begin with, right?"
    "I thought it was because you were brought to life incomplete..."
    "Not only that, 2. It's more because this was unsafe for me."
    "You are quite little... but because of that, you probably won't get to be that big."
    "Good point... but I already know that I probably won't survive the birth..." I look down, trying to hold myself together. "I can't stop it. I'm going to die, 2." I feel a tear leave my eye and trickle down my cheek."
    "Don't think like that." he says with reassurance. "I'll be there for you every step of the way so that you can make it through this."
    "I suppose..." I say. 2 hugs me.
    "It's all going to be alright, my dear."
    "Maybe... but there is one other thing I wanted to ask you about."
    "What is it?"
    "How long can I hide this for? I fear there's still a threat out there... and I don't want anyone to know until she's gone."
    "I understand." he nods. "Perhaps I can develop something for you. It'll take a few weeks, but it might help you out."
    "I'm listening..." I say.
    "I can create some sort of shot that will change the chemical balance in your blood. It will slow down your pregnancy, making it less noticeable."
    "That sounds great."
    "There may be a few drawbacks, but I'll figure those out once I actually make the medicine."
    "Alright. So, please tell me again the whole overview of where I stand."
    "You're about a month along. You won't get very big when you do start showing. It'll be easy to hide. I'm making medicine to help you."
    "Okay, cool. Thank you so much."
    "It's no problem, my dear. Come see me every few days so that we can check up on you and the baby."
    "Sounds good to me." I hug 2 and leave.

    Later in the evening, I'm looking out the window of my office, waiting to see 30 coming in the distance. After about an hour or so of pacing and rehearsing how I'm going to tell him, the sun goes down and it gets dark. I decide not to deprive myself of sleep, because that can only hurt me right now. I go to bed, hoping 30 will be here in the morning. I dream about him as I sleep... his warm hugs, his big eyes, his smile. I dream that I tell him that I'm having a baby, and his eyes light up. He hugs me, overjoyed. At the same time though, we both pretend not to worry about the fact that the clock is ticking for me. We just hold each other really tight like the night we did before he left. I wake up the next morning, feeling refreshed and confident, ready to tell him when he comes home.
    I meet V in my office, smiling happily about 30 coming home. Just then, we hear footsteps coming rapidly down the hall. 27 bursts in the door, with 16 by his side. They are both panting, and then I take a closer look at 27. His number on his front is sliced open, with little bits of blood oozing out. Just then, I realize that 27 and 16 escaped. The person I've been dying to see may not have been so lucky.