OTNV Ch. 1 - Montezuma (Part 4)

    30:

    I come home quietly, just in case she's already fallen asleep. I close the door without making a sound. I put my keys on the table in the living room and take my jacket off. I just sit down on the couch, just to listen for her for a moment. It's her birthday. I was in and out of our home all day, trying to bring her gifts and make her aware of how much I love her. Then I accidentally told the girls some of the truth...

    We've been living underground for a little more than three years now... The girls were about a month old when we moved in, and now they're fully grown. She left them to me because she was struggling with her health. As much as she wanted to be there, I wouldn't even allow her. Any stress, any physical effort put me off enough where I would order her to get back in bed to rest. There was nothing in this world that was worth losing the love of my life. I nearly lost her... but we were able to somehow fix things. For a while, I was disturbed by thoughts of being without her -- my mind tended to flash back to images of her lifeless body lying on the hospital bed and sounds of her crying out in agony... There were nights where it kept me up for hours, holding onto her tightly so that nothing could ever hurt the person I loved.
    The nightmares eventually stopped. We were able to become close again, and return back to normal (mostly). Our old ways came back to us... and despite that we had daughters, we were always alone. The way we used to be had returned, despite how much our lives had changed. Even after all that had happened, it still came to be just the two of us in the end.
    Here, we live. This is where we will stay.

    I love her more than anything, I know that for sure. From the moment I felt it in my chest, so, so long ago, the feeling has never gone away. No matter what we've been through, no amount of time, no decision, and no person has ever come to tear us apart. My feelings have never left me, not for a moment. My love for her will never die.

    I sit down and sigh, wondering if she fell asleep. I brought her home dresses and decor and bouquets of flowers to make sure her birthday was grand. I only have one more thing planned for the rest of the day for her. There's this place I found a few years ago... I had taken her there before, during the night, out in the snow. It's right on top of a hill, far out in the wastelands. There's no light pollution, so you can see all the stars, and the auroras when they appear. Yeah, it's romantic, but it's far more amazing and full of wonder than anything else. Just then, I hear her door open, and her feet stepping more towards me.

    "Welcome back." 1.5 says to me quietly. She exits in a dress I gave her earlier today. "Well, you certainly look beautiful."
    "Why thank you... this one guy gave it to me -- he was pretty great."
    We both laugh a little, and she sits down on the couch next to me.
    "How's it been? Still busy?"
    "Eh, everything's quieted down."
    "Oh, good."
    "I wish you could have seen it today... everyone in the land misses you."
    "And I miss them. I miss everything..."
    "Well..." I hug her. "If it makes you feel any better, I'm taking you out. Get your jacket and your snowboots."
    "Oh, alright." She gets a big smile on her face. She doesn't go out much... if we do, it's at night, and everyone's asleep. Sometimes our friends will come visit us down here, and we'll have a nice little get together. I'm usually working, so 1.5 is down here all alone every day. I worry a lot sometimes. I'm afraid someone will find her, or she'll get hurt or something will happen where I won't be able to protect her. I know she can defend herself -- she's been through a lot. But I just want to be there for her. I always promise her that I'll be there to protect her... and yet every time, I can just barely manage to save her whenever I let something happen.

    We sit together and just talk for a while, until it's late enough for me to sneak her out. I wait until about midnight for us to sneak out. We take the long route to the fields, where it's very beautiful, and so comfortingly quiet. I take the blanket, that thankfully is water-resistant, and lay it down in the snow. We sit down and just look up at the sky without saying much to each other.

    "Thank you for taking me out. I really needed this." she says, putting her head on my shoulder.
    "It's no problem. It's the least I could do."
    "Aw, you're too sweet."
    I hold her for a few seconds in the silence. 
    "I... I really don't know what I do do without you."
    "Well, you'll never have to worry about it, 30."
    "I know."
    I goes quiet again, and we both just look back up.
    "1.5?"
    "Yeah?"
    "I accidentally told the girls that you're their mother today."
    "You... what?"
    "I told them part of the truth... it slipped out because I was thinking about you and I'm sorry."
    I start panicking, thinking she'll be upset.
    "Oh... alright. I mean, they don't know I'm alive... so I don't think it'll be much of an issue."
    "They're looking for their dad now, though. One's feisty, the other one's a genius -- they're eventually going to figure it out that I'm their dad."
    "There's really no danger anymore... I suppose that if they found out it wouldn't be so bad."
    "It really would be nice to stop lying to them. It's hard to treat them like family when they think that I'm not."
    "I'm so sorry that we ever did this, 30. I acted on impulse when I clearly shouldn't have... and now we're both paying for it."
    "As long as I get to at least see them and keep them safe."
    "God, I miss them so much... it's worse and worse each day..."
    "Things'll work out. They're bound to come to a conclusion anyway."
    "Yeah... so if they figure it out, just let it happen. If there's every any more danger or anything threatening, lie to them. I don't want them to get hurt if they're affiliated with me."
    "A-alright."

    We lay down for about an hour, just talking and looking up at the stars. We get to bed that evening, and once 1.5 falls fast asleep, I still lie on my back, fully awake. My eyes stay open, trying to come down from the high she gives me... but something else leaves me bothered. My daughters... lying to them is becoming more difficult, and inevitably, they're going to figure out the truth. I eventually am able to fall asleep, my mind wandering about, curious about the uncertain future.